June 5, 2009

My 3 year old (who will be 4 next month!!) had her last day of developmental pre-school today. I've been talking to her about it for the last couple of days, but I don't really think she understands that school is out for the summer. I expect a mighty temper-tantrum on Monday! She's going to be heartbroken, she absolutely loves school. She loves her bus driver, too, today she was talking about how she was "gonna see my J(bus drivers first initial)" and "I want to sit her lap and drive!" She loves the bus, too bad it's literally about a minute drive to school from our house! She'll be going through another year of developmental pre-school next year. I'm not sure where we'll go from there, but I anticipate that I'll be sending her to Kindergarten there as well. School has been extremely beneficial for her with her disabilities, I don't want to deprive her of that even though it's not terribly convenient for me.

Dd1 did her last 2 math pages today, so she only has 3 lessons left in her spelling book and then we will be done done DONE! I'm going to have her do some addition and subtraction flash cards a few times a week to try and get those basic facts down, and of course we'll continue our weekly library trips. I think we'll just "decompress" next week and then pick up our normal summer activities (lots of hiking and park visits and such!) I had a couple ladies from our co-op who wanted to get together for playdates this summer, too, so I need to set those up at some point.

I've been getting statements from my insurance and I'm trying not to panic (which isn't working, I've already got a huge fever blister on my lip from stress). All told it looks like my share is going to be around 2K (my insurance pays 90%!). Yikes. I've only received one actually bill for around $435 dollars and they told me I had 6 months to pay it or it would go to collections! Geeze! That's 70 bucks a month. I hope the rest of them will go easier on me. If we can make it to tax season I'll be able to pay it all off (though there goes basically our entire return...) It's just a tough time, we're on a very tight budget as we're working to get our debts paid off, there isn't much extra. If we can swing it it will be worth it though in 2.5 years when we have an extra 6 or 700 dollars a month and the only debt we'll have are student loans and the mortgage.

We're having Mass said for the baby we lost on the 14th. Father said we can name the baby if we'd like or he'll just refer to it as "baby Huber." I have a hard time thinking of naming the baby. I didn't know what the sex was and I have zero intuition on that. Dh and I have talked about a gender neutral name but nothing has stuck out yet. It's hard to not want to go and get pregnant right away, too. I know intellectually it won't replace the baby we lost, but emotionally I just don't feel right. I should be pregnant and I'm not and it's weird. But, it's not a good time financially (see above!) and I need time to heal emotionally.

4 comments:

Angie said...

Okay, so I realize that trying to help you come up with unisex-ish names isn't the point of your post, but apparently that's the only way I feel helpful. So, some ideas (if you want any) -- all trying to go with Biblical/Saint/Catholic type names:

Angel

Erin/Aaron (But, could go with a spelling like Aarin/Aaren to make it less specific to one gender)

Noah (this is actually used in the Bible as both a girl's name and a boy's name, and is also apparently used in Israel more commonly as a girls name. Go figure)

Francis

Innocent

Blaise (which isn't unisex, but I could see it for a girl too)

Or, you could go with a combo name that is both, like Mary Joseph or Joseph Maria/Mary.

Other non-religious based thoughts that are also pretty unisex:

Ashley

Logan

Chance

Darcy

Devin

Finn

Hadley

Harper

Jaiden

Jordan

Kelly

Christian

Loren

Morgan

Parker

Rowan

Sawyer

Shannon

Teagan

Tate

Taylor

Trinity

Okay -- I'm done. Can you tell that for part of it, I went through a baby name site to find ideas?

I will continue to be praying for you guys!

Lucy said...

I just made a note in my diary and will remember you and the baby on 14th. Love and prayers to you, Lucy x

Life In Mazes said...

Hi, I just got your comment and I am sorry for your loss. We conceived on April 8 and I was 7 weeks and elated that I was pregant. I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance on May 16 because I passed out at home. I was in the hospital for 4 days and lost over a liter of blood too. I, too, lost my left fallopian tube. I will keep you in my prayers as I know that God will make all things beautiful. We named our little one Nicky (we had liked Nicholas for a boy and Nicole is a beautiful name for a girl). I love the idea of having a mass for your baby. I may get the courage to ask our priest to do the same to remember and celebrate our little's Nicky's life. Thank you for your comment, I am glad you found my blog.

Katie said...

Thanks Angie,I hadn't even thought of some of those!

Thank you Lucy, we appreciate the prayers!

LIM- Sounds like our experience was very similar! We conceived April 6th (our 8th anniversary) though I was 5 weeks when we lost the baby. I definitely encourage you to ask about having Mass said for the baby, I feel like it will help make the baby more real to me and bring some closure.