My 3 year old (who will be 4 next month!!) had her last day of developmental pre-school today. I've been talking to her about it for the last couple of days, but I don't really think she understands that school is out for the summer. I expect a mighty temper-tantrum on Monday! She's going to be heartbroken, she absolutely loves school. She loves her bus driver, too, today she was talking about how she was "gonna see my J(bus drivers first initial)" and "I want to sit her lap and drive!" She loves the bus, too bad it's literally about a minute drive to school from our house! She'll be going through another year of developmental pre-school next year. I'm not sure where we'll go from there, but I anticipate that I'll be sending her to Kindergarten there as well. School has been extremely beneficial for her with her disabilities, I don't want to deprive her of that even though it's not terribly convenient for me.

Dd1 did her last 2 math pages today, so she only has 3 lessons left in her spelling book and then we will be done done DONE! I'm going to have her do some addition and subtraction flash cards a few times a week to try and get those basic facts down, and of course we'll continue our weekly library trips. I think we'll just "decompress" next week and then pick up our normal summer activities (lots of hiking and park visits and such!) I had a couple ladies from our co-op who wanted to get together for playdates this summer, too, so I need to set those up at some point.

I've been getting statements from my insurance and I'm trying not to panic (which isn't working, I've already got a huge fever blister on my lip from stress). All told it looks like my share is going to be around 2K (my insurance pays 90%!). Yikes. I've only received one actually bill for around $435 dollars and they told me I had 6 months to pay it or it would go to collections! Geeze! That's 70 bucks a month. I hope the rest of them will go easier on me. If we can make it to tax season I'll be able to pay it all off (though there goes basically our entire return...) It's just a tough time, we're on a very tight budget as we're working to get our debts paid off, there isn't much extra. If we can swing it it will be worth it though in 2.5 years when we have an extra 6 or 700 dollars a month and the only debt we'll have are student loans and the mortgage.

We're having Mass said for the baby we lost on the 14th. Father said we can name the baby if we'd like or he'll just refer to it as "baby Huber." I have a hard time thinking of naming the baby. I didn't know what the sex was and I have zero intuition on that. Dh and I have talked about a gender neutral name but nothing has stuck out yet. It's hard to not want to go and get pregnant right away, too. I know intellectually it won't replace the baby we lost, but emotionally I just don't feel right. I should be pregnant and I'm not and it's weird. But, it's not a good time financially (see above!) and I need time to heal emotionally.

I've been doing okay, thanks to everyone who has been praying for us. I was able to talk my husband into talking to our priest, so our parish was able to give us enough financial help to keep us from completely going under. Thank God for that. Now, of course, the A/C in my van has gone out and the shop wants 1K to fix it. So our options are deal with it and fix it next spring, or trade it in (not easy, we still owe 6K on it). Oh well, small potatoes compared to what I've been dealing with recently!

I met with my Creighton Model instructor, and we're pretty sure I conceived on April 6th and that what thought was my LMP was actually implantation bleeding. That would've had made me due with the baby on December 30th. A little wistful too because April 6th was our 8th wedding anniversary. So at any rate, that puts me farther along than the hospital thought, more like 5 weeks pregnant. My husband told me that after the surgery the doctor told him and my mom that I would have bled to death in my sleep if I hadn't come in, so that's freaked me out some. Still getting tired very easy, but the doctor said it was normal.

Sad news

After suffering extremely painful abdominal cramps and mid-cycle spotting for several days, I went to the ER Wednesday evening and wound up being transferred to a larger hospital and having laproscopic surgery for an ectopic pregnancy. The baby had tried to attach in my left fallopian tube and had caused it to rupture, filling my abdomen with almost a liter of blood and clots. I was only a few weeks along, I didn't even know that I was pregnant. The doctor tried cauterizing the rupture fallopian tube 5 times to preserve the fertility of that ovary, but it wouldn't stop bleeding so she had to remove the ruptured part and sew that tub shut (so I've lost fertility in that ovary). I'm thankful my husband made me go to the ER (I tend to blow off my own illnesses and put off going for help) and that I'm okay. But sad for the loss of our baby. I'm asking St. Gerard to pray for me and the baby. Prayers from you are appreciated, too!


I'm sore from the surgery, though not nearly as sore as I was when my abdomen was full of blood. Tired too, but my husband was able to take the rest of the week off to help me (of course he's check will be 12 hours short next week [he only had 12 hours of vacation time, but is missing 24 hours of work] so money will be even tighter than usual, but we'll manage).