January 15, 2009

I realized the other day that in order to be a better mother to my children, I need to put my husband first. That sounds kind of backwards, doesn't it? But it's not! My relationship with my husband is the foundation of our family (with Christ as the heart), so if it's not strong, my relationship with the children can't be. Putting him first doesn't mean neglecting them, but honoring him as the head of our family and making sure he isn't lost in the shuffle. My vocation as a wife is complementary to my vocation as a mother, of course, but it comes first. The stronger and happier we are as a couple, the stronger and happier the kids will be.

So I've been putting more effort into "us." We really do need Retrouvaille, but there's no reason to put off trying to improve our relationship right now, especially when I can do simple things to make it better. It also, I think, encourages him to take a more active role as the head of the family. I'm a pretty independent person and I tend to be a "control freak" (as he puts it!) He likes to cuddle on the couch, so I've been making a point to cuddle with him in the evenings (which he noticed and told me he appreciated!) I've also been consulting him on purchases that aren't necessities, which he said made him feel good. Not because I feel like I need "permission" to buy things, but because I want to honor his position as provider.

So I'll keep going on that front, and I think it will help improve our entire family.

I also picked up 1-2-3 Magic, which seems simple and I've heard many good things about. I hope that can help cut out the yelling and bickering around here, because I get tired of it!


Ranee said...

You may already know this, but just in case: Retrouvaille is intended for marriages in trouble, while Marriage Encounter is for basically good marriages that could use a tune up or improvement. Either are wonderful, depending on what you need.

allyouwhohope said...

I used to work at a Catholic retreat center where Retrouvaille was held a couple times a year and it's a great program! I never attended myself because we were always busy when it was being held, but I know it can really help marriages. Ranee's right - there are couples who will be there who might even be separated.. but I know when we advertised for it, we encouraged all couples to attend, even if they just wanted to work on things. If you do attend, I can't wait to hear what you think!