May 10, 2009

Thank you so much to everyone who has prayed for us and kept us in their thoughts, we truly appreciate it. I am doing okay, though I really need to quit carrying the baby around. But I seem to be healing up okay. It's very hard to "take it easy" when there's so much I can see that needs to be done. Bless my husband, he was able to a few days off work, so he's trying to help, but it's not the same as doing things myself!

Emotionally I'm up and down, but I'm sure my hormones are trying to get back on track which doesn't help. When I was in the ER and they told me I was pregnant I was shocked but also realized that with the amount of pain it was probably not viable. Still I prayed that God would give me the strength to deal with whatever happened, whether it was losing the baby or carrying it and handling having another baby when we are very unready. Having it happen around Mother's Day kind of stinks. I wasn't very far but it was a unique child of ours that can never be replaced and I think I will always look at our family and feel that someone is missing. Watching the girls playing together the other night was hard, feeling that there should be another little one on the way to join in. But I have great comfort in the knowledge that the baby is in Heaven and is our own little Saint in the arms of our Mother Mary. Someday we'll be together.

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

Yes, this is the most difficult part. It helps to pray about whether the baby was aboy or girl and then go ahead and name them. Both of my miscarriages were after we had told everyone...I can't imagine finding out as I was losing one, but I do know your pain, frustration, hormonal problem etc. You have people out here in the blog-i-verse praying for you!
The Church of the Holy Innocents in Manhattan will enter your child's name into their "book of life" and Masses are siad regularly for them...they will even send a certificate.
My girls often include the names of their two sisters that they've never met when they sign cards to family.
The last baby we lost (in October) was due on May 5th...
We are now 11 weeks along with a new baby and all seems to be well...though not everyone knows yet...waiting for that 12th week to go by. I often think that if "Mary Frances" had made it, this baby wouldn't be here...
who can know the mind of God?
God Bless & I hope you had a lovely Mother's Day with your girls.
Pax Christi, E