Thank you to everyone who has prayed for us, we truly appreciate it!
I'm doing okay. Healing well, though I still get exhausted very easily because of the large amount of blood loss I had. Yesterday I took a shower, did a few dishes, and folded towels and felt like I needed a nap! Trying to take it easy but it's hard, so much to do around here and I'm itching to get it done. The ladies from our homeschooling co-op were kind enough to get together and give us a bunch of dinners, which is a big relief physically but also financially. We're a "paycheck to paycheck" family anyway, and dh missed 24 hours of work because of this (and only had 9 hours of vacation time, 3 hours less than we though). I balanced the check book yesterday when he got paid and we had 40 cents! Of course, they had forgotten to give him the 9 hours of vacation time, and we're still waiting on that. So I'm stressed out about money, but trying to have faith that we'll muddle through as we always do. Just frustrating because every time we're in a good spot and we're on time with our bills and having a little left over for non-necessities, something happens to knock us back down. I've been really trying to encourage dh more and more to go to college and at least get a 2 year degree so he can get a higher paying job. Anyway, that's another post.
Emotionally I'm wavering between calm acceptance and grief and anger. I think that's normal. I can think of many reasons why having another baby right now is not a good idea (obviously money is one of the big reasons) but none of them are nearly strong enough for me to think "it's for the best." It hurts and I want my baby back. I was reading a horrible article about sex-selective abortion in Sweden and some awful woman who killed two of her unborn babies for no other reason but that they were little girls and it made me so sick and angry. It doesn't seem fair. Lots of emotions to work through.